I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
