By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
