break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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