Sry I called you an 8
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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