So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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