I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
don't judge my taste in strippers
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
