He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
