There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Randomize
