Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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