i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
