I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
