That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
