Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
