Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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