I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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