in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
