is your mom at the bar?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
