We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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