the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize