..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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