Im at strip club and am horny
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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