is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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