We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Even the bartender felt bad for me
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
