I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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