omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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