Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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