Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
