I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
