Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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