All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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