just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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