Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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