I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
