I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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