he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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