im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize