Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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