You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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