Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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