Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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