She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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