I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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