I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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