Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
