he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
