Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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