On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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