Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
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my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
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Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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