he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
