Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
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