"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Randomize
