That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My feet surprised me
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