I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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