he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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