Plan B is the new Plan A
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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